I can’t even imagine the hurt, pain and disappointment one experiences when they find out their boyfriend/husband has been unfaithful AND has fathered a child outside of the marriage. It is one thing to cheat on your partner but it is something else when a child is born as a result of infidelity. As I sit here and write, my hands shake and my head spins when I think of this level of betrayal!
There is nothing worst then to find out that the man you love and committed to spend the rest of your life with has had a child with another woman while being married to you. That level of betrayal makes it difficult to forgive and to trust. Every day you awake, your mind almost immediately fixates on the other child. Granted, over the years (should you decide to stay in your marriage), waking up and thinking about the fact that your husband fathered a child outside of your marriage will eventually lessen BUT the hurt and pain would probably remain.
How do you move forward after finding out the truth? What do you say to your friends and family? This is not a secret you will be able to keep for a life time. This is not something that will go away, never to return again. When a child is born, you have the child for life (as long as God says so). This child should be in your husband’s life regardless of how you feel. Whether you agree or not, this child is a part of the family.
After all, the child did not ask to come into this world. Disowning the child or pushing the child away won’t make the hurt and the pain go away. The only thing you accomplish when you ostracize the child is mentally hurting and possibly damaging the child. Whether you believe in karma or not, you should treat people how you want to be treated including that child. If you should choose to leave your marriage, that doesn’t exclude your child(ren) from having a relationship with the “Love Child.” You don’t have to take my advice. You don’t have to even hear me out. What I do know is the child is not the blame for your husband’s infidelity. I would bet there were problems in your relationship long before your husband stepped out. Consider seeking counseling to help you to work through your hurt and pain. Healing is going to take time but shouldn’t take a lifetime. My advice is to be quick to forgive so that you can start the process of healing.